Thursday, November 10, 2022 Volume 17 Issue 9
Effective bullying prevention takes a holistic effort among us all, to ensure our children feel safe and respected in their learning environment, both at school and at home. This effort begins with social emotional learning, for children and grownups alike. On this note, it is important to understand what bullying isn’t, a clear definition of what it is and what we can do to prevent it and intervene when bullying behaviors happen.
What it isn’t: Bullying is different than having rude or mean moments. Rude moments happen when one unintentionally says or does something that hurts someone else. Mean moments happen when one intentionally says or does something that hurts someone else.
What it is: Bullying is negative behavior that is repeated (actions or threats), intentional (to cause fear, distress or harm) and involves and an imbalance of power (such as using physical strength, popularity or access to embarrassing information to cause harm). Because bullying affects social relationships, it affects all involved participants: the child being bullied, the child doing the bullying and the and the bystanders. *Please be careful to label bullying behaviors as bullying behaviors instead of labeling a child as a bully. Children are always children first and should never be labeled.
Types: Bullying behaviors can take many forms. Here is a brief summary of some of the main types:
Verbal bullying: saying or writing mean things (ex. teasing, inappropriate sexual comments, name calling, threats)
Social (relational) bullying: hurting someone’s reputation or relationships (ex. leaving someone out on purpose, spreading rumors about someone)
Physical bullying: hurting a person’s body or possessions (hitting, tripping, taking/breaking someone’s things)
Identity-based bullying: hurting around a person’s identity or perceived identity group (ex. race, religion, disability, immigration status, sexual orientation, gender identity, physical appearance etc.)
Cyberbullying: hurting that takes place over digital devices (ex. writing unkind comments or threats in a social media space)
Prevention/Intervention (What we can all do!):
1. Model/teach kindness, inclusion and responsibility
2. Model/teach/encourage conflict resolution and being assertive
- Bugs and Wishes (K-2nd grade): It bugs me when _________. It makes me feel __________. I wish you would ___________.
- I-Statements (3rd- adulthood): I feel _________ when you ___________. I need/want you to _____________.
-Assertive Statements: Quit it! Stop! I don’t like when you do that! Knock it off. Leave me alone. Don’t treat people like that etc.
3. Help children distinguish between rude/mean moments and bullying behavior
4. Model/teach children how to be an ally/upstander!
5. Get Help from your child’s teacher, Ms. May / Ms. D, or Ms. Matsui
Bullying at Thurgood Marshall: All of us at Thurgood Marshall want students to feel safe and respected, so they can learn and thrive. With this, our students receive the message that bullying will not be tolerated at our school. As a staff we have policies, procedures, and social emotional curriculum to support all students, especially those that are involved in bullying. The most effective bullying prevention measure we focus on is the social-emotional skills of our students, especially around treating each other with kindness and respect. Please reach out if your student has experienced, witnessed or participated in bullying behavior at school. We are here for all who are involved, in hopes that we can support and repair any harm and that has been caused.
